Empower yourself: how to own your voice and make it count
20 years ago I started an annual tradition to write about gender equality and women’s rights and all the issues that affect us most. But in today’s unsettling world, where political crises and instability dominate headlines, you may be wondering whether discussions about women’s issues are still necessary. I do believe they are more than ever, especially as the US appears to be going backwards.
In his first term as president, Donald Trump started weakening women’s rights in many different areas. Having made it harder to close the pay gap isn’t even the worst. Nor is weakening the law that prevents sex discrimination in education. He is slowly eroding female voices and the big question is what he will do to women and girls in his current second term!
Progress seems to have stalled everywhere else. Yesterday morning I was listening to a discussion about equal pay on my favourite radio station. Did you know that the pay gap in the UK is still almost 16%, the same as it is worldwide?
We should have expected better especially as this is half a century on from the Equal Pay and Sex Discrimination Acts of the 1970s!
You may think that as a writer, freelancer or business owner the pay gap doesn’t affect you, but this may not be the case. I have seen too many women lower the fees for their services or products, if they feel it’s the nice (or “right”) thing to do. And even when we know our value and are happy to negotiate we may not get paid what we deserve.
Inequality remains deeply rooted in many societies and industries.
Own your voice by breaking the silence
As a coach and co-host of 13 empowering International Women’s Day events in the last 20 years, I know women’s stories. I know the professional barriers we face, the limitations that are placed on us, even those we set ourselves.
I may not need to give you examples of women feeling invisible, undervalued or disadvantaged in the world of work. It is likely you have experienced some of that yourself.
What do you do when you’re in a meeting and a female colleague tries to speak up but keeps getting cut off? Do you think, “I’d like to help her get heard, but I’ll leave it to the others. They are much more eloquent (or confident) than I am.”
Unfortunately that’s how a lot of women think. It may feel like the safe thing to do, but it can also be disempowering.
Breaking the silence is not only important for our own self-esteem. Showing support is equally important – a small but important step in helping to “break the bias”.
Your values and beliefs empower you
Experiencing something that feels wrong to you on so many levels can bring up all kinds of emotions. Just thinking about what Donald Trump might do next, can fill me with fear, frustration, sometimes even anger.
Emotions can be important pointers though. Mine show me when I’m experiencing a clash with my internal values. Especially when it comes to dishonesty, a lack of compassion, cooperation or authenticity.
You, your values and beliefs make up who you are as a human being. They are unique to you, and they influence how you act and what you say.
What are your values?
- What is so important to you that, when threatened, makes you feel deeply unhappy? Have you ever made a list?
- Are these values so close to your heart that you can’t help but stand up for them?
- Or do you keep quiet and think it’s simply not worth it?
A sentence on the International Women’s Day site once caught my attention. “Individually, we’re all responsible for our own thoughts and actions – all day, every day.”
Growing up in Germany, I could never understand why my grandparents didn’t speak up in the 1930s. Now I can see that they simply got sucked in to the relentless Nazi propaganda. I think we can see it happen today, and I find that so scary.
Maybe we think that some discrimination or exclusion isn’t worth worrying about. That it will blow over in time. By the time my grandparents realised that the situation was only getting worse, it was too late to speak up. The risks were too great.
Please know your values and trust them to guide your actions and your words.
Speak your truth – you aren’t powerless
There are always things you can do, even if your actions may be more limited, like mine. As someone with a chronic illness I have to put boundaries in place to protect my health. So I could think, “I want to help this cause, but I am limited” and leave it at that.
Imagine what might happen to your thoughts if the word “but” didn’t exist!
“But” taps into your negative thinking. You know when a close friend or your partner says, “I like your outfit, but….” Everything that follows renders the positive part of the sentence rather meaningless.
So instead of thinking, “I want to help but I can’t” try thinking, “I want to help. What can I do?”
Turn “I can’t ” into “I can” to own your voice
It is far more empowering to focus on what we can do, not what we can’t.
For example, I know I wouldn’t physically be able to take part in a demonstration (e.g. about ineqality) even if I wanted to.
Instead, I can sign petitions, write blog posts, send letters to the media, a board of directors or my local MP. I can raise awareness via my social channels or support charities financially that do good work.
When you put your mind to it, there are lots of things anyone can do with their voice alone. You can even encourage another woman, because who knows what positive things that might lead to!
Change your thinking to feel empowered
I know that in some situations it feels too risky to speak up. If you feel that way too often, a good idea is to observe your thoughts. Where has the “but” word become an inner obstacle to sharing your voice?
You want to start noticing the opportunities where you can advocate better for yourself or someone else.
Start to replace “but I can’t be as brave as they are” with “I can learn to be as brave, and I can start today”.
Remember we are all on the same journey, so when you see someone else making that change, try to support and help them too. Together we get stronger!
You can speak your truth so easily with your blog. Your blog can be proof that you’re not alone with your views, beliefs and your story.
And please remember. not everyone needs a huge audience to feel heard. My motto is that if just one person today feels inspired by something I say, then I have achieved my aim. To get the ball rolling is also making a difference.
Please own and use your voice. It is the most empowering thing you can do for yourself and for others, even if won’t change the world overnight. Every little helps.
And it’s never worth keeping what matters in your head.
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PS. Photo #5 is my own, the others are courtesy of Pixabay & Unsplash.
