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Why Christmas isn’t always what you think it is

It’s not long now until Christmas. I’m really sorry if I’ve just raised anyone’s blood pressure. A few years ago, I too felt anything but excited. I was in a somewhat rebellious and ‘anti-Christmas’ mood that I knew had been brewing for a few years.

For a start, I was getting thoroughly fed up with the lead-up to Christmas, the silly season, as some people like to call it. Life seems to speed up for women at this time of year – why do we let that happen?

Also, I felt I was grinning and bearing the commercial aspect of Christmas that I have struggled with for far too long.

Why do we need Christmas traditions

To say in my defence, I did it for the sake of my children. Having suffered perhaps more than our fair share of life-changing events as a family (often coincidentally in the pre-Christmas season), I knew deep down that clinging to some of our usual Christmas traditions had an actual purpose. Even if this meant an excess of food, drink or presents!

Perhaps it’s understandable that you would crave a sense of normality when you’ve just buried a much-loved granddad who died of cancer. And you discover a few days later that his son (your husband) has cancer too. All this with just a few days to go before Christmas.

It wasn’t our first challenging Christmas either. Fortunately, my husband recovered over time, but for a few years, it seemed as if the Christmas season would, without fail, bring some heartache to our house.

The result? We started to cherish our Christmas traditions and rituals more than ever. They took on an essential role in becoming the safety net my family clearly needed at that time of year.

Whilst I may have rebelled at the mountain of waste, the extra work and the stress, I could see how our seasonal customs helped us.

Whether we would buy a real tree just before Christmas, make time to bake special treats or open presents on Christmas Eve (the German way), it gave us hope.

But still, certain aspects of Christmas just wouldn’t go away for me, starting with what I consider an extravagant use of Christmas cards. I not only had issues with the ever-increasing mountain of waste paper. I questioned why we would send an impersonal card to people, especially those we see pretty regularly. Why not wish neighbours, colleagues and local friends a much more meaningful ‘Merry Christmas’ in person?

When something needs to change

So I stopped complaining and replaced cards with environmentally friendly e-greetings, such as a text message, email, or phone call. A few elderly relatives and other special people still receive a personal card. The change feels good.

What makes sense to you? Maybe you can share a little blogging love with a post especially written for Christmas? Or why not fire off a quick message to your online friends in other parts of the world? They will appreciate hearing from you, especially as not everyone is fortunate enough to spend the holidays with family.

“Just do it” your way!

Eventually, I took things a step further. Having had a good run of Christmasses without any major ‘trauma’, I felt it was time for more changes.

We said ‘no’ to the usual menus, ‘no’ to the unnecessary waste of food, sweets and alcohol, and ‘no’ to unnecessary presents for the adults.

I loved it. Christmas had now become simpler and more meaningful.

There was none of the usual pressure, nothing I felt I should do (just because it’s Christmas and because it’s what your friends or neighbours do too)

It even worked during the worst of the pandemic, when Zoom calls replaced live get-togethers.

Finding your way through tough times can teach us what really matters most. Some traditions might hold more significance than others, and that’s okay.

I believe that dealing with negative experiences, especially around Christmas, can remind us that some things are truly insignificant in the grand scheme of life. For instance, giving presents to those who already have everything might not be as important as we think.

Don’t let the media’s influence fool you into believing that only the perfect gift will bring a smile to someone’s face.

As we grow older, the simple things matter more, like good health and feeling close to loved ones, even if it’s just in spirit.

So, if you find yourself forgetting to send an email newsletter, missing the chance to publish your latest blog post, or forgetting to buy that special bottle for Uncle Harry, remember- sometimes a warm visit or a heartfelt call can mean more.

Are you unsure about how to celebrate Christmas this year?

Whatever life brings your way, try to honour your own feelings and needs too, not only other people’s. Celebrate in a way that truly resonates with you and brings meaning to you and your loved ones.

Remember, the essence of Christmas is love, hope, and joy. Especially during these challenging and confusing times. Your way of sharing love doesn’t have to be through presents – it’s about connection and kindness first.