How to lighten your fear of failing (so you can go far with your blog)!
“No matter how far a person can go the horizon is still way beyond you.” (Zora Neale Hurston)
This quote reminded me of something a client once asked me: Can you go far with your blog without losing faith that you’ll get the recognition you dream of? Many bloggers worry about investing vast amounts of time and effort, knowing that success could be out of reach for a long time.
Authentic blogging is indeed a slow burn. It can be all too easy to doubt yourself when it feels like you’re not getting anywhere. I am not surprised that 95% of bloggers abandon their blogs in the first 6 months. (Source: The New York Times)
Maybe you worry that you won’t have the staying power or that your writing isn’t good enough. Any fear of failing will cloud your thinking and affect your confidence to show up online.
The consequences of fear and self-doubt
Women can be so clever on one hand, creating all the time. From blog content and books, to courses, services and products. But the same women may also still have doubts whether it’s worth it. And is anyone listening anyway?
Whilst writing a blog can be a beautiful standalone practice, for many creative women it’s the place where all the other strands of our lives come together. A place where our experiences, values, and beliefs merge. Unless you blog purely for your own pleasure, at some point the question will arise how far you want to take your online writing and whether you believe you can get there.
Fear of failing can drown your voice
What if you’ve experienced failure in the past? Maybe you never started writing the book that you thought was calling you. Or you wrote it, but a setback stopped you in your tracks and you didn’t get to publish it. Is there any point in trying again when there’s no certainty it’s going to work?
Because so much is caught up in our writing, any self-doubt or thoughts of failing can feel upsetting. What if you had set your heart on that book, or on writing a successful blog that everyone likes? But you haven’t made it before?
I still feel fear from time to time and have written about how I manage mine in our book Distinctive Voice. I know I am not alone. Just before our publishing date, Jean and I both had a wobble too. Would our book be good enough? Thankfully, the fear was familiar and we knew what to do.
But feeling vulnerable hurts!
If you recognise yourself you will know how much safer it feels to stay in your self-protective bubble. So you don’t post or publish in the first place, or you do but don’t say what you want to say. Whilst playing safe online can make it seem ok in the short term, it doesn’t help you in the long run!
Because it is often our most heartfelt posts that give us the deepest satisfaction. And there is another positive: it is these posts that encourage honest and genuine engagement with our readers!
Knowing how hard it can be to release our truest words into the world makes each achievement even more special. Whilst stepping slowly out of our comfort zone does get easier with practice, if you are someone who benefits from a little help (a tool in this case), please read on.
NLP can help you go far
If you appreciate complete clarity and structure, you may already be working with goals. There is more to goal setting than simply following the well-known SMART approach. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) offers effective techniques that tap into your subconscious and can be applied to any goal.
The following techniques can help anyone with a dream who finds goals impersonal or overwhelming. Or who worry that their end goal might be unattainable.
- Visualising the End Goal: Imagine your end goal in vivid detail—think about what it looks like, how it feels, and what or who you can hear when you achieve it. Future thinking can be really exciting!
- Identifying Obstacles: Ask yourself what stops you from moving forward, then look for empowering ways to overcome these challenges. This part of the process can strengthen your resolve and belief in your ability to achieve your goals.
A thought… what if the scary thing in your way was never meant to stop you, but help you grow?
- Creating Motivating Actions to Overcome the Obstacles: Transform your strategies into motivating goals and actionable steps. This approach will help you commit to your plans and reduce the likelihood of self-sabotage.
- Setting Smaller Goals by Working Backwards: Always break your main goal into smaller, manageable steps. For example, if your end goal is a year away, work backward. Start by identifying what you need to achieve in 9 months to make your 12-month goal attainable. Continue breaking it down for 6 months, 3 months, and then 1 month. You can even break it down into weekly goals and tasks.
- Reward yourself – every time you reach a milestone. And always celebrate the bigger successes.
Throughout this process, try to visualise what you will see, hear, and feel when you reach each goal, including the smaller milestones.
I have applied these strategies with my coaching clients and myself at times. They can be invaluable, especially if you’ve faced failures in the past and want to increase your chances of success.
Go gently…
If anything, life’s challenges may have taught us that very few journeys take us from where we are to where we want to be in a completely straight line. There is always a degree of uncertainty in everything we do, but that doesn’t mean that goals are not valuable. Just be kind to yourself and focus on adapting your route (if you need to) when something unexpected takes you off course.
“Your goals are the roadmaps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life.” Les Brown
Ps. If this post has resonated with you, why not read this one next: Trust your voice even when you’re feeling vulnerable – it changes everything.
Pictures by Unsplash
