Trust your voice even when you’re feeling vulnerable – it changes everything
There is a moment every writer knows too well: your fingers move over the keyboard, but suddenly you hesitate. Your idea seemed so good but now there is doubt, and you second-guess what you just wrote. It’s hard to trust your voice when you’re feeling unsure or vulnerable.
Any doubts that your thoughts may not be worth sharing will separate those who continue to write from those who don’t.
Authentic writing can make you feel vulnerable
At its core, writing is releasing your thoughts and ideas for all the world to see. (And to judge.). The more you reveal of yourself, the harder it can be to quieten the inner voice that whispers ‘Who am I to say this?’. Overcoming thoughts like this can require considerable courage.
Are you worried that something bad could happen? If yes, feeling courageous will require trust that you’ll be Ok. And feel safe too.
Four important beliefs that help writers feel less vulnerable:
- Your stories, experiences, and opinions are worth sharing
- Your voice matters in the bigger scheme of things
- What you say (and how you say it) will be good enough
- Your writing will resonate with someone else
Trusting that all these are true for you may sound easy to some, yet insurmountable to others.
How common is self-doubt?
In our blogging clinics, we have met many bloggers who lack confidence in the value of their stories. Others don’t feel their voice matters or they are good enough “to compete online”. And many are not sure about their reader.
Wherever you might sit with these four beliefs, please be aware that trusting yourself is much harder for writers who are neurodiverse and anyone with mental health issues.
As our social platforms and the web are getting busier and more complex all the time, it will be natural to feel exposed.
Also, we live in a world of polished posts, where even Substack has become a platform favoured by professional writers. It’s easy to feel that your writing has to be deeply passionate and profound, as well as marketable, to attract followers.
Perhaps well-known writers may not be completely free of doubt either. I wonder how many will edit and edit again until their stories and words feel just right.
But there are things we can all do to help us trust and own our voice despite the obstacles. Because writing can feel deeply empowering when we’re in the right space!
What makes me feel vulnerable
To be honest, I didn’t always hold all four beliefs, especially in my early blogging days. Which is why I have written about aspects of vulnerability and self-doubt many times over the years.
Quite a few chapters in our book Distinctive Voice are devoted to authentic writing in your true voice and embracing your vulnerabilities. I’ve also written about the fear of failing on this blog and why your unique voice matters
In a way, I feel fortunate. I have always believed in my stories. I knew from my clients’ feedback that they were helping them. If ever I had any doubt, then that was the evidence I needed.
For me, it’s the green-eyed monster that still tries to get the better of me from time to time. Whenever I read something beautifully written, I’d love my writing to be as polished as that. This taps into my insecurities as a non-native English speaker and the belief that I am not a good enough writer.
What if I get things wrong or use words that will put off my reader? Worse still, ruin my reputation as a coach?
The thing is, I may have these thoughts but these days they come and go, like dandelion seeds that float gently past me. I am aware of them, but I try not to give them too much space.
Here’s the one thing I wish I had known when I first started blogging 20 years ago:
Embracing your vulnerability and your voice are powerful steps towards self-acceptance and growth
Negative beliefs and positive affirmations
Looking back, I am pleased with my progress over the years. Experience has taught me that I do have insights and strengths that are unique to me and attract readers who can relate.
So I tell myself that someone else’s powerful words are just the outer wrapping for their inner thoughts and experiences. “My wrapping” may well be simpler and less skilled, but that’s Ok. For me the most important thing is that I am honest and authentic.
Even when no one else will read my words, and it’s just me and the blank page, I trust myself to express my thoughts as I see fit. This is the first and most crucial step in my writing process.
Essentially, I use a new belief and an affirmation: “I am true to myself, and that is good enough”.
Over to you…
Would you like to try and transform a negative thought or belief?
- How about exploring the negative belief that affects you most? Please open your journal or your computer and write about it. Just to get the thoughts out of your head. Now try to look at it from a different perspective. As if you were an outsider looking in. Does your belief hold the same power now?
- Come up with a suitable affirmation that will soften its hold and replace it with something more positive. Won’t it be great to have a memorable phrase that will support your self-belief every time you have a little wobble?!
The mindful way to trust your writing
Trusting yourself isn’t always easy because your inner critic tries to keep you safely confined. If it were up to it, it would never let you shine or attempt anything worth doing.
This is where mindfulness comes in. It is a very different way of being or doing that works for me. I often used to rush around without ever stopping to be aware of the here and now.
Essentially, being mindful means being fully present. Being present without jumping ahead and worrying about what’s next.
One of my favourite summer activities is walking barefoot on a sandy beach, observing my feet and feeling the sand or water between my toes. It’s my metaphor for making the most of a specific moment because I know that sooner or later the incoming tide will wash my footsteps away, and I’ll be somewhere else.
Feeling truly aware of your current experience can leave you feeling calmer and more positive.
I learned about mindfulness during a difficult time in my life, way before I understood the importance of having a guiding purpose, which can also help us to overcome blocks. But back to mindfulness.
How to write mindfully too
Next time you sit down to write, make sure you have no distractions and your phone is on silent. You can set a timer too if you wish.
As you write, notice the pen moving across the paper or the sound of the keyboard as you type. Take note of how you feel. Try to accept any feelings (positive or negative) without overthinking them.
All that matters is that you write.
Being in the moment can help you to judge yourself less. Even the negative voice that wants to sabotage you will get weaker. If you don’t feel it yet, try to relax. It takes practice. For now, it may help you to notice your self-doubt without letting it dominate your thoughts.
By bringing your attention back to the writing, you may eventually find it easier to start doing the things that move you forward. Like pressing publish when your writing isn’t 100% perfect. Being present also helps when you can’t yet see the finish line.
Wouldn’t you love to feel more engaged in the journey rather than worry about the destination or what could go wrong?
Writing mindfully allows you to keep an open heart. The best way to trust your writing when you feel vulnerable!
A suggestion:
If you are new to mindfulness, you could try a writing affirmation like “I trust that sitting and writing right here and right now is important. I can enjoy that moment without worrying about what will be.”
You could also explore another question in your journal: “What is true for me now? Or how can I trust that I am where I am meant to be?”
Remember that you’re here to explore and express your thoughts. The more you write in the moment, the more you learn to trust yourself, your voice and your process.
A final thought…
Some days, your writing flows, and some days, it doesn’t. It is not a reflection of you as a writer.
All your writing experiences matter. Even when you feel unsure of yourself. And even when you re-read and your writing doesn’t feel right. You can always leave it for now and edit mindfully later. No judgment needed.
Above all, please remember this when you don’t trust yourself and feel a bit vulnerable: your words, imperfect as they may be, carry something only you can say.
That is more powerful than you know.
If this post resonates with you, why not take a moment to pick one of the above exercises or write something, anything?
Would you like to make your blog irresistible to readers? Our book “Distinctive Voice -The fearless way to a wholehearted blog worth noticing helps you to identify your true purpose and voice, overcome mindset blocks and create magnetic content for your ideal reader. “The information is clear and easy to understand. Your actions are really good at getting me stuck in, and I enjoyed doing them. You have given me the confidence to give it a go”.
PS. Photos 2 and 4 are my own, the others are courtesy of Pixabay/ Unsplash.
